Roller Derby Nerd

Sean Hale's - Top Ten Answers to Questions Asked of Derby Skaters Traveling to Tournaments

Fri, 17 May 2013 18:05:05 +0800

10. Yes, ma’am, those are all real tattoos.
9. If it smells like feet, that’s my bag, if it smells like wet dog, that’s my teammate’s.
8. Yes, we all came in that car.
7. Seven. Though admittedly you’re not supposed to have more than four in a room.
6. Yes, the nearest liquor store. But if my captain asks, I’m asking where the nearest Vitamin Shoppe is.
5. Well, I usually wear long-sleeve shirts to work, so my boss doesn’t see them.
4. No, not really, just derby married. It means … no, I mean, yes. But … no, we’re just really good friends.
3. No, we’re not almost there yet, and I’ll turn this car right around!!!
2. No. On quads. Like, old style roller skates. And without all of the fake fights.
1. All weekend. And it is going to be GLORIOUS. :)

Best of luck to all those going to Spring Roll and the Big O this weekend!

Brilliant!

illgetyouimeanit: It’s derby. I have no idea what they’re...

Fri, 17 May 2013 17:15:33 +0800

illgetyouimeanit:

It’s derby. I have no idea what they’re doing.

This needs a caption! And——GO GO GO!

rollergirlrant: Helpful tips Good to know!

Fri, 17 May 2013 17:12:53 +0800

rollergirlrant:

Helpful tips

Good to know!

rollergirlrant: Derby has all types! That would be Knee-High...

Fri, 17 May 2013 17:11:37 +0800

rollergirlrant:

Derby has all types!

That would be Knee-High Knightmare :D

rollergirlrant: Derby Super Hero It’s a bird!...

Fri, 17 May 2013 17:08:35 +0800

rollergirlrant:

Derby Super Hero

It’s a bird! It’s a plane! It’s a derby girl!

scribbles-on-paper: Why can’t I get paid to Roller derby I know right? I WANTS MONEYS NOW!

Fri, 17 May 2013 17:06:45 +0800

scribbles-on-paper:

Why can’t I get paid to Roller derby

I know right? I WANTS MONEYS NOW!

whatsyourderbyname: Road trip to the First Statewide Tournament...

Fri, 17 May 2013 17:04:51 +0800

whatsyourderbyname:

Road trip to the First Statewide Tournament for Alaskan Roller Derby in Fairbanks!

HEAD BANG!

cobrakaiderbycoach: This is another one of those situations...

Fri, 17 May 2013 17:03:51 +0800

cobrakaiderbycoach:

This is another one of those situations where the rules are bizarrely contradictory.

If I announce “I intend to whack her in the head with my shoulder after it bounces off her shoulder on this next block”, and then I do just that, is it no impact/no penalty or an expulsion?

Its like they didn’t even consider that someone could plan their secondary contact.

Have they never seen a combination shot in billiards?

Unless you are just so eager you do it anyway >.<

surgeonsofderby: When I turn to get perfectly nailed in the...

Fri, 17 May 2013 17:01:06 +0800

surgeonsofderby:

When I turn to get perfectly nailed in the sternum.

OW D:

It's all in who you know . . . .

Fri, 17 May 2013 16:57:20 +0800

lonelystripe:

I think I’ve been blacklisted … . .

That’s a hard truth to swallow. But it seems as of late I am finding it more and more difficult to staff myself into any Regulation/sanctioned bouts … and this is with multiple leagues. I’ve had some chats with some friendly zebras in my area and by friendly I mean those who I trust a little bit more than I would a rabid Possum that I discovered on my chest taking a nap after waking up from an all night bender and it doesn’t like me moving much. And by rabid possum I mean the other refs in my area that I wouldn’t trust to set me on fire properly … .

Yeah . . I’m not trusting you either Kelso … but I digress …

So I’m talking to the friendly zebras and while no one has heard anything official they believe the same as I do. That somehow, for some reason as much as the reffing community is calling for separation of ref and skater they look down upon it

That’s right, as much clamoring as I have heard over the past 3 years that the ideal world for officiating is one where the refs are not affiliated at all and we just come in and do our thing … I have achieved this and I am looked down upon?!?!?! What the hell kind of Mr Myxlplyx world are we living in

So I can’t win … I am forced out of my former league (I whole heartedly believe this now) because some people have friends in high, decision making places who should be just as unbiased as we officials are expected to be. Who . . HA HA … apparently are not happy with their decision and are getting tired of the issues arising from the person I warned them all about but whatever … I don;t know what I’m taking about …

So know there is a decision to be made soon. If I want to continue this career (and I DO because a fucking love this sport and I want to make sure it played in the most safest manor possible) I may fear I need to affiliate with a league. There are 2-3 possibilities surrounding me but in my mind there really is only one choice. A league that would offer me opportunities the others could not … It just more boils down to Do I want to do this? I can’t return to my former league … not that any bridges were burned . . well at least not on my part. And not that I have a problem with the league . . I don’t … just a few decision makers who shouldn’t be. It just would not work right now.

I’ve given myself till after ECDX to decide … . changes may be coming … a crew may be joined … .

but truly I will still be … .

~One Lonely Stripe

Define blacklisted? As in your are banned from reffing? D:

Sounds like a hard decision, is it cos you want to help multiple leagues that you don’t want to be tied down to just one? Cos I can understand that.

HELP WANTED - derby girls.

Fri, 17 May 2013 16:49:14 +0800

901dangermau5:

Genuinely need to know if anyone has any suggestions!

I’m thinking antiks but I haven’t tried any. I have wide feet but I’m really small so they need to be light.

Any suggestions on vanilla brass knuckles or bronts? Feedback MUCHO APPRECIATED!!

BWAHAHA! ‘Bronts’. I think you mean Bonts.
Well it’s all about what flavour you like really, if you like high ankles then Antiks are for you, if not then Bonts with the low ankle are for you. I have wide feet and I’m small too, so I got semi-custom Bonts with a light Avenger plate. Semi-custom Bonts are awesome, for $30 you get a boot tailored to your wide feet AND you can get your choice of boot colour, strap colour and even get your name stitched on your boot straps. I hope my input helps!

whatsyourderbyname: Derby Skinz: You’re doing it...

Wed, 15 May 2013 22:10:45 +0800

whatsyourderbyname:

Derby Skinz: You’re doing it wrong.

BWAHAHA!

lunaticpimpstress: And it’s a big bruise for my teammate...

Wed, 15 May 2013 22:10:09 +0800

lunaticpimpstress:

And it’s a big bruise for my teammate CookieBrainshake

“It’s not nosebleed, but it’s good enough!”

Borlänge Näsblod after practice!

Borlänge Näsblod win all the derby internets for the nastiest derby bruise. That. looks. PAINFUL >.<

Intimidating much? :S

Wed, 15 May 2013 22:07:53 +0800

Intimidating much? :S

this-little-miss: My friend from derby said I looked like a...

Wed, 15 May 2013 22:05:20 +0800

this-little-miss:

My friend from derby said I looked like a bunny when I was Jamming and trying to pick up speed then she made me this. I’ve been laughing my arse off for 30 minutes

BWAHAHA! That’s pretty awesome really

shaebay: Yep, that’s how we do. Half-time shenanigans is a...

Wed, 15 May 2013 22:02:12 +0800

shaebay:

Yep, that’s how we do. Half-time shenanigans is a recurring theme for Poise and I as seen here and here and here. :D

[photo by Phantom Photographics]

More fantastic derby posing!

eeniemeanieskates: Now when you go to a Savannah Derby Devil...

Wed, 15 May 2013 22:01:28 +0800

eeniemeanieskates:

Now when you go to a Savannah Derby Devil bout, you can be me! (I’m wearing the black shirt.)

Can someone do me a Damanda Riot and Bonnie Thunders cardboard cutout thingy like this? So I can stick my head thru the whole and pretend I’m fucking awesome? K thanks bye!

lookslikederby: Neil Helado vs Westley, the dread pirate...

Wed, 15 May 2013 21:57:42 +0800

lookslikederby:

Neil Helado vs Westley, the dread pirate captian.

as you wish

Could you please provide the name of the league these people skate for and their full derby name? Cos I have no idea who these derby people are and I would like to educate myself

sausage-roller: The Test O’Matic iPad & iPhone app is now...

Wed, 15 May 2013 21:51:42 +0800

sausage-roller:

The Test O’Matic iPad & iPhone app is now live! What this means is:

1) Everyone can now use the Roller Derby Test O’Matic on Android, Kindle Fire and iOS.
2) I, just one developer dude who does not own a mac and has a super limited budget, can make and has made mobile apps that can be released on every major mobile platform.

That’s pretty cool.

HELL YES! Well done

bootyrockinbiggz: BOW DOWN TO THE GLORY THAT IS… My bruised...

Wed, 15 May 2013 21:49:57 +0800

bootyrockinbiggz:

BOW DOWN TO THE GLORY THAT IS…

My bruised ass.

Well, side of bruised ass.

What’s funny is that is maybe a third of the area that hurts, the rest is swollen and taking its sweet time to bruise.

Don’t stop, drop and roll during whips.

Now DATS a bruise